


of case files and hunger

by Naoto_Shirogane



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Anorexia, Eating Disorders, Gen, implied naorise kinda, naoto Please eat something, this is a vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22358806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naoto_Shirogane/pseuds/Naoto_Shirogane
Summary: It wasn’t like she didn’t notice.Of course she noticed all of the concerned glances in her direction whenever she ordered nothing but water, whenever she would wear too much clothing to cover her arms, and whenever she really did almost anything.She was well aware of the fact that she didn’t eat enough. It was hard not to, after all, constantly being around others who stuff their faces in food without any regard as to how it may affect their bodies.Initially, she chalked it up to the fact that she simply forgot to eat. It had been a habit before, choosing to focus on casework or studying instead of being bothered to eat something. If she were truly dedicated to her work, then she wouldn’t take her time to eat. It was simple. She witnessed countless adult detectives brush off meals in favor of working on a case, so she should be able to do the same.After a while, however, it turned into self-loathing; A way to punish herself for not being able to meet the standards set for her by both herself and others.And it became an addiction.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	of case files and hunger

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a vent fic that i wrote in order to cope. i'm not really a writer, just thought i'd project my issues onto naoto. 
> 
> sorry if it feels incomplete at all, i sort of wanted to finish it quickly.
> 
> as stated in the tags, tw for eating disorders/anorexia. please don't read if this kind of content is triggering for you.

Naoto had been getting thinner.

Really, she had always been on the thin side, but she had gotten thinner to the point of looking ill. Her face was gaunt and sunken in, and her bones were visible regardless of where one looked. She was absolutely emaciated.

It was never spoken of explicitly, but there was always the underlying concern in the faces of everybody while Naoto was around. Subtle glances at one another, but never daring to say anything to her face. The desire to ask if she’s okay as she orders nothing but a coffee at Junes, and the pain of seeing a dear friend harm themself.

The entire investigation Team knew what was going on; it was difficult not to think of possible scenarios, in any case, but there was some sort of unspoken rule not to talk about it. At the point it was at, however, it felt as though an intervention was required.

The issue they were facing now was who should actually talk to her. It never seemed as though anyone on the team specifically was close enough for her to divulge any of her secrets, and especially not something that appeared so severe. Getting Naoto to be vulnerable in front of somebody was an insurmountable task; she was a brick wall.

But somebody has to take up the challenge, or they may very well lose Naoto.

~

The Investigation Team had gathered at Junes once again while Yosuke was working. It was his final hour of the day, and everybody was anticipating the birthday celebration they had all planned for Chie the next day. She was, of course, not present. Being there for the discussion of your own surprise may not be the best idea, after all.

The sun was gleaming and the heat was overbearing. It had been like that for the past few days in Inaba, and it seemed the summer wasn’t going to let out for a while. And as a result, everybody’s wardrobe had switched to tank tops, short-sleeves and shorts. 

Everybody except for Naoto.

She, on the other hand, was still wearing her signature blue dress shirt and yellow tie, as well as her black slacks and dress shoes. 

Normally, it was an easy thing to ignore. Naoto was simply a formal person. This time, however, with the sweltering temperature, it was hard to just let it go. 

Everybody was looking at Naoto strangely, with concern. Nobody dared to say a word.

“Is there something wrong?” Naoto inquired the team, their jaws loosened and their eyes wide. 

Yukiko was the first one to speak, “Ah, it’s nothing, Naoto-kun. Just…” she paused, mulling over things to say in her head, “it’s so hot outside. Why are you wearing those clothes?”

“Yukiko, you idiot...” Kanji mumbled under his breath, while everybody else just stared at Yukiko in shock.

Naoto looked as though she had been caught doing something she shouldn’t have, somehow, and her face flushed. “I didn’t have any clean clothing at home that would be suitable for the weather, it’s nothing of concern,” Naoto said defensively, but it was clear that concern was needed; she looked as though she were about to pass out. Whether that was a result of the heat or the result of... something else that everybody was thinking, it was troublesome.

“Hey, everyone! Here about the party tomorrow?” Yosuke shouted as he sprinted toward the team.

Nobody responded immediately, tensions still high from the previous conversation. The awkwardness was unbearable, and Yosuke caught on as soon as he approached everyone.

Souji was the first to speak, “Yeah, are you almost finished your shift?”

“Finished early, actually. Let’s go sit down at the food court and get something to eat,” Yosuke sighed, “I’m starving, man…”

~

Yosuke, despite having been working for just the past six hours, brought everybody’s orders back to the table.

It was of no surprise to nobody, of course, that Naoto had only asked for some water. The reality of that really only sunk in once she had only had a glass of water while everyone else had large plates of a variety of food items.

It seemed that nobody actually had the courage to say something, once again.

And so, discussion of the upcoming party persisted, almost as if nothing had happened earlier.

But with Naoto’s deteriorating frame, one must wonder how much longer it can be simply ignored.

~

It wasn’t like she didn’t notice.

Of course she noticed all of the concerned glances in her direction whenever she ordered nothing but water, whenever she would wear too much clothing to cover her ~~fat~~ boney arms, and whenever she really did almost anything.

She was well aware of the fact that she didn’t eat enough. It was hard not to, after all, constantly being around others who stuff their faces in food without any regard as to how it may affect their bodies.

Initially, she chalked it up to the fact that she simply forgot to eat. It had been a habit before, choosing to focus on casework or studying instead of being bothered to eat something. If she were truly dedicated to her work, then she wouldn’t take her time to eat. It was simple. She witnessed countless adult detectives brush off meals in favor of working on a case, so she should be able to do the same.

After a while, however, it turned into self-loathing; A way to punish herself for not being able to meet the standards set for her by both herself and others. 

And it became an addiction.

The secret high that she got whenever she felt empty, the exhilarating feeling of being dizzy after sitting up, it was all something that she ultimately craved. 

She knew logically that it wasn’t healthy. Food is, after all, a basic necessity of life. But when the mere thought of eating more than a small snack made her feel queasy, recovery didn’t seem like it was an option. Besides, there’s no way that it was  _ that _ bad. 

Perhaps deep down, though, she wanted help more than anything else.

~

It was finally Chie’s birthday, after what seemed like hours of getting everything set up. She was expected to arrive within the next ten minutes, as Yukiko had texted her to come to the inn shortly.

Everyone was sitting at various spots, awaiting Chie’s arrival so that they could surprise her. It was only a small gathering of the Investigation Team with some food and a planned relaxation time in the hotspring, but everybody was sure that Chie would be pleased regardless. 

After a few minutes passed, the door cracked open, and a loud “Surprise!” erupted from the group as they all jumped up in excitement.

Chie’s eyes widened as she processed everything, and then she began to smile. “Aw, thanks, guys!”

Yukiko went over to Chie quickly, and everybody else followed. “Of course, Chie,”

“There better be steak on that table…” Chie mumbled as her eyes narrowed. Everybody chuckled in response.

The party began, with food being consumed and stories being told. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, with the exception of one detective prince.

Naoto was sitting beside Rise as she chatted animatedly to everyone about her upcoming idol plans. Her vision was getting dizzy; she felt like she might pass out soon.

Rise concernedly looked over at Naoto, suddenly stopping her ramble. Everyone else followed and did the same. “...Naoto-kun, are you alright?” 

“Ah, I’m fine…” Naoto responded slowly, as though she had to process for a moment what Rise was asking her. She put her glass of water down on the table in front of her, her hands beginning to shake.

Souji sighed. “Naoto, when was the last time you ate something?”

Naoto’s eyes widened, once again looking like a deer caught in headlights. “Senpai, I can assure you, there is nothing of concern,”

“Then why did you avoid my question?”

Now Naoto was the one to sigh. “Well, if you must ask, it was this afternoon-”

“Naoto-kun, that’s bullshit, and you know it,” Yosuke interjected.

Rise looked down as tears began to form in her eyes, “We’re really worried for you, Naoto-kun,”

Silence came over everybody as they awaited some sort of response from Naoto. 

Naoto had not been expecting an intervention that night when she started setting up for Chie’s birthday party. It was clear that everyone was concerned, but… 

She mulled over possible answers she could give. Denial wasn’t an option anymore; that wasn’t effective earlier. Honesty was likely the best scenario, but she couldn’t get the words out. It was like her throat closed up whenever she even  _ thought _ of telling everybody the truth. It was too much for her to handle. Everything came crashing down at that moment, and she just began to break down.

Rise immediately clutched Naoto in her arms as she sobbed, rubbing her back and realizing how much of her spine she could feel through Naoto’s shirt. It was absolutely  _ terrifying _ , and Rise felt even worse just knowing how much harm Naoto had put herself through. “I’m so sorry, Naoto-kun,”

~

Naoto had a problem. 

A problem that she was going to need to recover from, despite all of her previous qualms with it, finally acknowledging that was a breath of fresh air. 

And she wasn’t immediately going to recover—it was going to be a constant uphill battle. There were going to be bad days, that much was inevitable. 

But with all of her friends by her side, perhaps recovery isn’t such an unrealistic goal after all.


End file.
